A Refuge In Times Of Trouble

I sometimes feel like I must be the most dim-witted person on the planet. I say that because I exasperate even myself at times with how long it takes me to come to my senses, or to realize that I'm going about something the wrong way. Case in point:

Guy and I have been praying over a situation for months now. We both go from troubled to hurt to mad to discouraged to confused, to hurt to mad to... you get the picture. I personally have taken this matter to the Lord over and over again- pouring out my heart, asking Him for direction and grace and strength and a miracle. And I trust God to perform it. I know that it will all work out in His time and in His way. But in the "right now", it still hurts and is still troubling. And it consumed me. When it's time to pray, it's almost all I pray about. I just tell the Lord all about it, over and over. I tell Him how upset I am, and ask Him once more to fix it.

And last night in prayer, I realized that although I've asked God countless times to intervene in this situation, I've never fully laid it at His feet and left it there. I go to Him and beg Him to help- I hold out the problem, if you will, before Him and complain or lament over it, and then when my time of prayer ends, I keep a hold on it- carrying it around with me.

Then I thought, How is He supposed to fix it, if I won't let Him have it? It would be like a child coming to their parent, crying and holding out a broken toy or cut finger or something, and then all of the sudden they have to go do something else. The child runs off, not giving the parent a chance to fix the problem. And then after a while, the child is upset over the problem and runs back, crying and pleading for help, only to repeat the scenario again.

Thankfully, I realized that this is essentially what I myself have been doing, and I gave the situation to God with confidence that He will take care of it. I felt such a release after "casting my care on Him" and I wondered why it had taken me so long to do so. I continued praying and thanking God in advance for working it all out.

Continuing in prayer, I remembered the words of a preacher who prophesied over my husband and I while we were still in our first year of marriage. We were visiting one of Guy's brothers, who lived in Leavenworth at the time, and we went to church up there, where an evangelist was preaching his last night of revival. After the preaching, Guy and I knelt down and prayed at the pew. The evangelist came over and prayed for us, telling us that God had spoke to him and wanted to tell us something. I wish I could remember the exact wording, but I can't. But I remember he told us "God has great things he wants to do for you, but you will go through some hard times first. Make God your refuge." That was the gist of it.

I've thought about the words of that preacher several times in the last 13 years, but last night, they seemed to ring truer than ever before. I suppose it's because we are living right in the thick of those words. God has spoken things to our hearts, showed us our future, given us promises we never imagined. On the road to the promises of God, though, we are having to deal with some things that are hard. However, the Lord is my refuge and I'm trusting Him to work it out! I am doing my best to lean on Him, and not on my own understanding. Trying my hardest to keep a right attitude and not let bitterness creep in. His ways are much higher than ours. I have quoted Psalms 121:1 often, both in prayer and while going through out my day- I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.

If you're going through a rough time, remember that he will never leave you. He rolled back the waters of the mighty Red Sea, and He said "I'm gonna lead you, just put your trust in me." There is a reason, a purpose, for what I am going through and for what you may be facing in your own life. He will not forsake us!!

The LORD also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, LORD, hast not forsaken them that seek thee. ~Psalm 9:9-10

Childhood Memories

Hi Bloggin' Buddies!
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood! The sun is shining, the sky is blue, and there is a lovely blanket of snow everywhere I look. I hope that there isn't a kid in town that's sitting inside playing video games when there is so much adventure waiting outside.

A friend of mine commented earlier that she was going "hillbilly sledding", where a four wheeler or truck pulls you around on an old car hood. I got that warm fuzzy feeling in my heart when she said that, because it brought back so many memories. And I thought I'd share a couple. Hope you indulge me a little, as I go back down memory lane. :)

My mom and dad divorced when I was about 5 years old, and growing up- I lived back and forth between them. It was like day and night. If it hadn't been for me missing my little brothers so much- I would have never lived with my mom. My dad was the best! And so almost ( not all, but certainly a majority) of my GOOD memories were made when I lived with my dad in Parsons.

We lived out in the country, and so Josh and I had to catch a bus to school. My dad was a crane operator for Beachners, a company who builds bridges, and he had to be at work very early, so that meant we had to get up very early. In the winter, we would trudge through the snowy field that was between our little pink house and my aunt's house- where Dad would go to work with my uncle, and me and Josh would wait for the school bus. Dad would "blaze the trail" through the snow, and Josh and I would follow behind, trying our hardest to walk in the boot prints that Dad made. The snow was so deep and cold, and we were half asleep most of the time. We'd get to Aunt Candy's house, and it would feel so good coming into the warm house that smelled like coffee. Me and Josh would go get settled in the living room, hoping to catch a few more winks before the bus came. And Dad and Uncle Ted and Aunt Candy would sit at the table and drink coffee and talk. The soft murmuring would lull me back to sleep usually, and I'd sleep until my aunt would wake my cousins up for school. I don't know why walking in my dad's big boot prints through the snow every morning means so much to me, but it does. :) Probably because he himself means so much to me.

We would also go sledding on a car hood, pulled by either three wheelers or a pick up truck. It was a lot of fun, but I liked sledding down the hill by my aunt's house even more than I liked the car hood sledding. Aunt Candy lives right by a lake. You can walk right out of her house, down the hill, and you're at the dock! It's pretty great. And us kids thought that it was SUPER great to sled down. We never worried about sledding into the lake. Until it happened! At the top of the hill there were steps made out of rock. And we normally just walked down the steps, put the sled on the hill and let it fly. But one day, we had the great idea to start at the VERY top. We thought it would be cool to sled down the steps too. And my youngest brother Jimmy, who was only about 3 or 4 years old, was the first to go down the hill, steps and all! Being the youngest, he was also the lightest of us kids. Which I'm sure is the reason that he flew down that hill like a speeding bullet and landed in the frozen lake. If my memory serves correctly, I think he even slid on some lake ice before it gave way. My older cousin was babysitting us at the time, and we ran up the hill hollering for her, abandoning my little brother, who was still in Lake Parsons. Don't worry, the water at the bottom of the hill is only knee deep or so, so he didn't drown. Somehow, he got out (probably on his own, since we had freaked out and ran for help) and I remember being worried that he would get frost bite. Jody ran a warm bath for him, and by the next day, he was as good as new. And so, except for that one bad experience, sledding down Aunt Candy's hill was loads of fun. :) Needless to say, we didn't sled down the steps again. Not that day, anyways. Hehe!

Blog at ya later!

My new nephew Bradley

Howdy Bloggin' Buddies! :)

This past Tuesday, my sister in law, Valerie, gave birth to a beautiful, robust baby boy named Bradley James. Congratulations, Jimmy and Valerie!! I still have trouble wrapping my mind around the fact that my little brothers are now adults and have children of their own!

Valerie went into the hospital early Tuesday morning, and around noon, we got word that the baby was coming "any time now!" So, that evening, Guy and I went up to visit, expecting to get a peek at the baby before I had to go to piano lessons.

We walked into the room and it was evident that Bradley had yet to make his world debut. I blurted, "He's STILL not made an appearance?!?" Poor Valerie!! But we were assured that it really would be "anytime now"- for real this time! So we went to the waiting room for a little bit, but then I had to leave to go to my lessons.

Not long after we left, Bradley arrived. Wouldn't ya know it?? ;-)

So Wednesday afternoon, we stopped by and met him. :) He was bundled up in a blanket not making a peep. I got to hold him and get a few pictures.
This baby has got some huge feet, too! I spotted a piece of paper with his footprints in ink, and they were ginormous! I was shocked at how big they were. LOL

blog at ya later! :)

Oral Surgery= one loopy husband!

Hi bloggin' buddies! :)

Life in our home has been kind of turned upside down this week. My husband has been on vacation, and it has been wonderful having him all to myself this week. EXCEPT... that he had 5 teeth removed this past Wednesday. All of his wisdom teeth, plus one more. Ouch!!

We drove down to Bartlesville early in the afternoon, and both of us were pretty naive about how serious the "surgery" would be. I mean, we both knew that he was going to be completely knocked out for it all, and they had given him a nerve pill to take a few hours prior to the surgery. He didn't take the nerve pill- he wasn't nervous. And we both knew that it was ME who would be driving home, because he would still be too loopy.

But neither of us knew just how loopy he would be. We were both sitting in the waiting room and then they called him back. About 45 minutes later, a lady stuck her head out the door and said that the dentist would like to talk to me. So I hurriedly put my John Grisham book back into my purse and followed her into a small conference room to wait for the oral surgeon. I caught a glimpse of my husband as I was led to the conference room, and my heart about stopped. He. Looked. AWFUL!!! He looked like he was dying, folks. I've never seen him look so bad. He was "awake" but certainly not alert, sitting in a wheel chair, slumped over, mouth full of gauze, with his glazed eyes peeking out from under heavy eyelids...I was so scared.

And because I was so scared, when the doctor came in to speak with me about how to care for Guy once we were home, I barely heard him talking to me. And I certainly wasn't able to RETAIN any of it! I nodded my head at the appropriate times, but all I could hear was a loud swishing sound in my ears. The sound of fear? Anyways, when the doctor said that they would roll him out a certain door in the wheelchair, I did catch that. So I pulled the car around the building and up to the wheel chair ramp. A lady wheeled him down and he was able to stand and get into the car. But he still looked so awful that I almost burst out crying!!! I thanked her, and we started on our way home.

Mind you, I don't drive. Remember??? The accident???? So I'm nervous to be driving in more traffic than I'm used to, I'm nervous about getting pulled over, and I'm freaking out because there is a ZOMBIE buckled in next to me! =-O

All the way back to Kansas, I kept sneaking glances at him. Sometimes, his eyes were open. Sometimes not. When they were open, I would ask if he knew me. Did he know who HE was? I kept asking him these stupid ridiculous questions because he looked... retarded. I don't say that in a mean way either. I was truly worried that something went wrong and that he would forever be mentally handicapped! So please don't judge me. But when I asked him, he would nod yes. I was silently crying, wondering if he'd ever be the same again. That is how bad he looked.

Yes, I know. He had 5 teeth surgically cut out of his mouth. How was he supposed to look??? Again, I was naive and unprepared. I suppose that I expected him to look just like he did when he left me in the waiting room.

So, we make it back to Indy and I had to stop at Wal-Mart to fill his prescriptions- one for pain and an antibiotic. The paper the doctor sent with me said not to leave him unattended for the first 24 hours. But I had to get his meds. So I looked at the zombie, still buckled in and sleeping, and I did exactly what the paper said not to. I left him unattended. I practically ran into Wal-Mart, grabbed a cart and bolted for the pharmacy. It was like Supermarket Sweep. I dropped off the prescriptions, and zoomed off to the other side of the store to stock up on "liquid" foods.

I raced down the soup aisle, barely slowing down to grab his 2 favorite soups- Chicken and Stars, and Broccoli Cheese. I careened around corners, running for the butterscotch pudding mix. The clock was ticking, and while my eyes swept the shelves for INSTANT pudding mix, I was panicking that the zombie might wake up disoriented and try to walk across the parking lot, getting himself killed. The fear catapulted me down the aisle, where I paused to get some applesauce.

I rushed back to the pharmacy, and wouldn't you know it? I wound up waiting 30 minutes for the meds!! I was tapping my foot, sighing loudly, I even shot a couple of people dirty looks as they walked by me with their medicine in hand. I was making it worse than it was, but didn't realize it. I was still worried that the zombie would wake up and not know where he was. As I stood there in line at the pharmacy, I imagined him getting "loose" and falling. Or walking out in front of a car. And it would be MY fault! Because it was ME who left him unattended! I swiped at my eyes, quickly brushing away tears. I wanted to go check on him, but then what would happen to my cart? I worried that they would restock everything, and I'd have to do the supermarket sweep again.

So, finally, I got the medicine. But my waiting STILL wasn't over, because I had to wait in a long check out line. My patience was wearing as thin as the melted ice cream in my cart.

An hour after entering the store, I exited it and hurried to the car. Guy was still asleep, still buckled in and not even aware that I had been gone. He woke up as I forcefully threw the shopping bags into the backseat.

As I yanked on my seat belt and revved the engine several times- out of frustration, I knew that he would be just fine and no serious damage was done. Because he frowned at me, shook his head, and put his hands up in the "stop" position. " Stop revving the engine!" he seemed to say. And then I DID burst into tears. And he motioned for me to calm down, the frown replaced with that gentle concern of his that I love so much.

He still couldn't talk. And he went right back to sleep as I drove home. I called my pastors wife, crying and asked him how long he would be like that. And by "that", I mean mouth stuffed with gauze, non-verbal, and loopy. "How long till he looks and acts normal?" I asked. She laughed and assured me that he would be fine. It WAS a surgery after all. She calmed me down and told me not to expect him to talk for a few days. And that if he did talk, it would sound... well, just like someone talking with a mouth full of gauze!

And then she said what I absolutely needed to hear. She said "You're going to have to be his nurse for a few days." And that changed everything. I was able to put emotion aside, pull myself together, and concentrate on doing just that. Being his nurse. Making sure that he was comfortable. Helping him get up and down the stairs. Bringing him his pain pills and food. It was fun for me! I changed his gauze out every 30 minutes, timed how long the ice packs had been on each jaw, and assured him that he would be fine. See? I did good! SO good in fact, that late the night of his surgery, he was talking. Talking normal! And looking normal! The bleeding had stopped and so we stopped putting gauze in his mouth. :)

It's now 3 days after his surgery and he is doing great! He's able to manage the pain mostly with Aleve. He doesn't like taking the prescription pain pill if he doesn't have to, because it is so strong.

The whole ordeal did make me wonder is I was TOO dependant on my husband. He has voiced that concern himself a few times through the years.

He's Superman in my eyes. Strong, steady, compassionate, loving, smart, funny, handsome. He's my best friend. The one person that I completely trust. I'm so thankful that he is feeling better!!

I love you Guy!! xoxoxo :)

2010- a year full of promise

Hi Bloggin' Buddies!

I apologize, as usual, for my lengthy absence from blogging. I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season and rang in the new year with a bang!

An awful lot has happened since my last post. For starters, my friend Lisa- whom I blogged about last ( but then deleted the post, since the slide-show was slowing my computer down. Sorry!), has had her baby. Yes, Emelia Sorah was born 2 and a half months early and Lisa and Emme have had quite a time of it. But I am happy to report that they are both doing very well. :) Emme is a little doll, almost literally, as she can indeed wear doll sized clothing. And Lisa is an excellent mother. Congratulations Rusty and Lisa!!



Remember how I said I took pictures at a wedding back in October? Well, if you can believe it- I am STILL trying to edit those pictures!! Lucky for me, the bride and groom are family and have been BEYOND patient as I try to make the pictures look good. It's a very difficult task though, since I failed to take decent pictures. Oh, I got some passable photos of the bride and groom outside, and the rest of the bridal party... but it's the ceremony- you know, the IMPORTANT part of the whole thing- that the pictures look horrible. And that's not me being putting on faux modesty. That's the truth. I am just so glad that there was another lady there taking pictures as well, even if I was a little bristly about it at the time. I can only hope that hers turned out better than mine.


Anyways, I had promised a few pictures, so here are a few that are passable. Not pro, my any means. But passable. When Lisa moves, I should probably change my logo from Captured Moments to Souped Up Snapshots. I need to quit moaning about not being any good and get out there and shoot more! Trial and error. But enough babbling. Here they are:

The groom and his guys were so fun to shoot. They posed easier, were more relaxed, and were willing to take this last picture for me! ;^D They were great!

We have had a LOT of snow in my neck of the woods over the last couple of weeks, and though it is very cold, and slick at times- it is also beautiful. I love when we pull in the drive way and the sun is shining on the snow, making it sparkle. It's so pretty that it looks fake. :) I made a snow angel about a week ago, and it's still out in the yard, too!! A neighbor had loaned us his snow shovel, so when I was done with it, I took it back to his house and shoveled some of his sidewalk off for him, as a "thank you". Guy was in our drive way watching me shovel the snow, and warning me to be careful not to "over do it". So when I walked back across the street to our house, I pretended to stumble and fell to the ground, hollering for Guy to call an ambulance. I was just kidding with him, and he had me figured out. ;) But since I was already covered in snow, from my "collapse", I decided to go ahead and make a snow angel.

I am on cloud 9 right now, because Guy is on vacation this week!! We aren't going to do anything extravagant, but tomorrow we are going to see some friends in Missouri. I am very excited to see them! And then Wednesday, Guy has to go have dental surgery done in Bartlesville. He is having all of his wisdom teeth pulled, and they are knocking him out for the procedure. So Wednesday night, we get to stay in Bartlesville! I wish it was under other circumstances, but I am happy to stay at Hotel Phillips nonetheless. We have stayed there a few times, when we wanted to just get out of town for a night or two. It's in "old town", and it is an old hotel with a lot of charm. I love the feel and look of the hotel. I heard that they are closing their doors soon, and that makes me very sad. Here is their website though: http://www.hotel-phillips.com/

Friday we are going to Tulsa to "double date" with some friends of ours. I finally get to eat at P.F. Chang's!! Guy doesn't like Chinese food, so I've never eaten there. But since our friends and I love Chinese, he is outnumbered. Woot! Woot! And besides, he will probably just get egg drop soup, because of his teeth. Or lack of. :) I also want to go to Garden Ridge while we are in T-town.

So my week is looking pretty good. :) Hope you all have a great week, too!

Blog at ya later!
~Suni

Disappearing Act

Hi Bloggin' Buddies! Yes, I know. I know. It's been a LOOOONG time! I sort of disappeared for a while, didn't I?! I looked at the date of my last blog entry and was SHOCKED to discover it has been almost 2 months. Wow...

I have been plenty busy though, so can I use that as an excuse? Haha! As I write, I realize how much I miss it!

Let's see. What's been going?...

Well, I guess I'll start by saying that I did get to that wedding in Arkansas. It was... interesting. I didn't do good at all on the pictures, but I'm not beating myself up over it considering the sheer amount of chaos that was taking place from beginning to end. I am still attempting to make the pictures look good, which is a tall order- but if and when I get that done, I hope to maybe post one. However, there are no promises. Because we all know how I am about promising pictures and then not posting them! LOL!! ;)

I have also started piano lessons and I'm really enjoying the challenge. I've got an AMAZING teacher!! I couldn't ask for anyone better, as she "gets me". She is great, and one of the reasons I feel that way is because she pushes me pretty hard. At least I think so. ;) And yet, it's as if she knows exactly how much to put on me, and how to get into this thick head of mine. It's so fun and fulfilling to hear music and know that I am the one making it! I'm no where close to being good, but it's fun to plunk around on the keyboard and sing. :) I'm grateful for a husband who spoils me rotten and allows me the lessons. Although, in all fairness, he pretty much told me I need to take them. It's also wonderful, because once I learn more, I will be able to put down the music to the songs I write. I've written several songs, and I always have the melody in my head, but I've also always had to sing it to a friend and have her pick it out on the piano for me. Hopefully, eventually, I will be able to do that myself! :)

Neewollah came and went with out much fan fair from our house. I worked at our church's peanut brittle stand during the festival, but we didn't ride any rides or play any games. I wasn't that into it this year. I did make sure to get some cheesecake-on-a-stick though! :) I couldn't pass that up. LOL.

Last weekend, I was in Branson at a conference/retreat for Christian women. The ladies from my church have been going since they started the conference, because my pastor's wife and her 3 sisters are the ones that put it on. But this year was the first year that I decided to go. I'm very glad I did! The main speaker was a lady that lives in Burbank California, and she had been through some of the same experiences that I've been through. It was eye-opening to realize that God can use anybody. To see where she is today, and to hear how God turned her life around and Ordered Her Steps... she has an amazing story. And I was ministered to so strongly through her testimony. It was a fun time! Even though the fire alarm at the hotel went off at 3 in the morning! Haha! Apparently, it was a false alarm or something. I was told that I sat straight up in bed, my hair sticking up and a scowl on my face and demanded " What IS it?!" LOL, I happen to love my sleep and I'm not a happy camper when it's interrupted. :)

Speaking of sleep, it's almost 1 am and I have church in the morning, so I'm going to wrap this up. I will try not to be gone so long next time! ;)

Blog at ya later!

The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

Hi Bloggin' Buddies! =)

I am so excited that Fall is here! It smells and feels like Fall, and today I some some leaves chasing each other down the street. My heart smiled and I smiled.

It was a big deal to me when I was a little girl to see leaves somersaulting down the street with the help of a fall breeze. I imagined the leaves being alive, and racing down the street. I would even single one of them out and silently cheer it on! :)

I got out my little collection of fall decor this past week and set it up in various places around the house. And a friend of mine surprised me at church last week by giving me another little scarecrow man! He's a cutie too! The gift was actually from Stacie's little boy, *wink-wink*! After some thought, I named the lil' fella Odie. Thank you Stacie and Lil' Mann!! :) I was hoping to have pictures of my Fall decorations, but I haven't taken any yet. I promise, as soon as I do- I will post them on the blog!

Remember how I said a couple of months back that I had planted a garden? Well, I wasn't having any luck with it. Oh, the seeds did just fine when I had them in their little seedling trays on the back porch! But once I moved them outside to the garden beds, they stopped growing and basically disappeared. We had one marigold plant come up, one scraggly little lettuce plant, and a broccoli plant that has actually gotten quite big, but I have yet to see broccoli on it. Sooo... I was delighted to see another plant shoot up recently, and then fairly quickly start growing tiny little peppers on it!! I thought maybe it was the jalapeno plant, but Guy thinks that it is the banana pepper plant. I could care less WHAT pepper plant it is- I'm just glad to see the little things growing!! They look so cute right now too! I makes me think that maybe I'll try again next year, after all. ;D

I'm sad that September is almost over. My wedding anniversary was the 6th and our "dating anniversary" was the 21st. But even so, I'm looking forward to October too. I have a lot going on this coming up month, including a wedding to shoot in Arkansas. I'm excited for that, I've known the bride since she was a baby. And Arkansas in October should be beautiful. Very exciting!! The only down side is that my photography side kick, Lisa, will be in California during that time. (Her sister is getting married.) Guy is going with me though, and hopefully a pal of ours is going to keep Guy company while I do my job. The wedding should be interesting to shoot- the bride wanted a 50's theme. Yeah. You read that right. lol! Wish me luck!

I'm going to try and get some sleep now, so blog at ya later! :)